Blog on Sex & Intimacy
Sexual Desire in a
Long-term Relationship
rebuilding sex in a sexless marrage
communication in sex
Awakening the female libido
discoverING Your BODY, Pleasure & sexuality
painful sex for women
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Sexual Desire in a Long-term Relationship
NEW: How to Find Your Way Back to Each Other and Revive a Sexless Marriage
These five steps will take you through the process of recoving a sexless marriage towards more intimate connection and sexual expression. With ongoing curiosity, openness and lots of tender loving care, a couple can work to create the safety and security that are necessary to rekindle a love-filled, deeply intimate union.
NEW: Sex and the HSP Woman: How Meeting "Pre-Sex" Needs Contributes to Her Enjoyment and Desire for Sex
Despite being critical for her sexual desire and ability to engage fully in sex, women’s pre-sex needs are often ignored or de-prioritized over the more sexual overtures. That is especially important for highly sensitive (HSP) women.
NEW: For Men: How to Be a Better Lover with an HSP Woman
For a man, being a better with a highly sensitive person (HSP) woman means making a few important internal shifts to bring out her best nature and sexual desire.
NEW: Enjoying Sex and Intimacy as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
HSPs are just as sexual as non-HSPs, but they need a different path to opening up sexually that has been overlooked by sex educators, relationship counselors, and authors of self-help books. Learn what HSPs need to come alive in the bedroom.
What Is the Meaning of Sex in Your Long-term Relationship?
Like all important aspects of life, sex carries meaning. Understanding what sex means to you — and your partner — will tell you if you’re on the same page in valuing and prioritizing it. Or not.
3 Warning Signs of Divorce and How to Address Them Before It's Too Late
There are three clear signs that couples who struggle with sex and desire issues exhibit that indicate that they’re heading for divorce. Learn these signs and commit to changing the course before it’s too late.
Why Your Partner Won’t Get Couples Counseling and How to Get Them On Board
You plead for getting a couples counseling in the form of coaching or a therapy and your partner refuses. What do you do to get them on board?
How to Tell If Your Sex Life Is Good & What to Do to Create One
If 2,510,000,000 Google results for “signs you have a healthy sex life” tell you anything, it’s that people want to know what makes for a good sex life. Trying new things and good orgasms always top the list. Without a doubt, newness adds variety and excitement and orgasms make for a grand finale. But is that enough? Here’s a set of different kinds of questions to gauge the quality of your sex life — how passionate, how connected, how erotic, and how enriching it is for you?
5 Most Common Mistakes Couples Make When Working on a Sex Problem in a Long-term Relationship
I’ve compiled a list of very common — and very understandable — mistakes that couples make to help you prevent this unnecessary pain and get the resources you need sooner. Whether it’s an issue of low or lack of sexual desire, or lack of passion in the bedroom after decades together, the resources to support you are a free consultation away.
A Tale of Two Couples and One Sex Problem: How Some Sexless Marriages Be Saved and Others Cannot
Why can some sexless marriages be saved and why others cannot? What is the difference? Read this article to find out the key element that turns one sex problem into a disaster or a recipe for closeness and passionate sex.
7 Habits of Healthy Couples Who Have Great Sex
Great sex doesn’t “just” happen in a long-term relationship. It’s fed, nourished and ignited by conversations about sex that make you feel desired and important to each other. These 7 habits show you what healthy couples do to have great sex.
7 Insights to Understand About Each Other That Make Sex Flow in a Long-term Relationship
We wrongly think that we know our partners, even though our knowledge comes from our own assumptions. To truly understand each other — and feel understood — we need to talk. This article provides tools to help you hone in on important insights about your partner that will help you connect more intimately, build closer sexual connection and make sex that’s more than just the same-old boring motions.
How Talking About Your Feelings Is Harming Your Relationship
When the relationship is struggling over the “sexual desire gap” problem, couples will naturally want to talk it over, telling each other what they think, under the guise of “telling the truth.” This actually harms your relationship. Find out how — and what to do instead.
Couples who come to me for sex & intimacy coaching have often been to 3 to 5 therapists before me. Why did their couples therapy fail? Find out three reasons why couples therapy fails to address sexless marriages.
3 Unhealthy Thought Patterns (Disguised as Noble Gestures) that Keep Couples Stuck
There’s a way that couples manage sexual challenges in their relationship that they believe will serve them. Instead, they backfire and hurt their love. Read this article to find out these three thought patterns that backfire — and what to do instead.
Why Is Sex Better on Vacation & How Do You Bring That Passion Home with You?
It’s a known phenomenon: sex seems to be better on vacation — more fun, easier, flowing. But it’s hard to maintain the magic when you get home. Learn five ways to bring home the vacation-sex effect into everyday life.
Is Scheduling Sex Bad for Your Relationship?
Scheduling sex is another example of advice offered to couples who’re struggling with sexual desire in a long-term relationship. Yet, it’s really bad advice because it hurts their relationship! Find out the alternative.
Skip Date Night! Build Sexual Passion with These Daily Practices
Having a date night is the most common advice out there for couples struggling with lack of sexual passion and desire in a long-term relationship. Find out why it backfires for couples and what to do instead.
15 Ways Sex Is Different in a Long-term Relationship
It’s predictable that sex will change in a long-term relationship. But it’s hard to not feel heart-broken when it happens to us.
Best Books on Sex & Intimacy for Your Summer Reading
These books are guaranteed to open your eyes, make you blush, and relax your body into the pleasures of summer.
What to Do When Your Sex Life Is Gridlocked, Stuck or Shut Down
Getting out of sexual gridlock can be hard. You end up in a cycle of seasons: feeling good for a few weeks, then falling back into the old patterns. Read this article to understand why you keep getting stuck and the underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
How to Stay Passionate in a Long-term Relationship
Losing ‘the spark’ is bound to happen in any long-term relationship. It’s a hard pill to swallow — especially when that excitement of the honeymoon phase felt so passionate and so effortless. Understand what makes the passion wane and what makes it burn for decades.
3 Honest Mistakes That Lead to "No Sex Tonight"!
Couples make these mistakes all the time, and it means no sex for weeks, even months. Are you making these, too?
Top 3 Mistakes Couples Make That Turn Women Off Sex
As a coach who works with women and couples to create satisfying and nourishing sex lives, I can zero in on three top mistakes that couples make when it comes to sex — mistakes that lead to little or none of it.
Orgasmic Holiday Gift Guide for Couples
Five must-have things on your list guaranteed to make sparks fly in your relationship any holiday season — or time of the year.
Rebuilding Sex in a Sexless Marriage
NEW: When to Walk Away from a Sexless Marriage
The decision to walk away from a sexless marriage is a gut-wrenching one. This in-depth article will talk about 1) What qualifies as a sexless marriage, 2) The pain of a sexless marriage, 3) What to try before walking away, 4) When to walk away and 5) What problems masquerades as unsolvable and how to solve them.
A Tale of Two Couples and One Sex Problem: How Some Marriages Be Saved and Others Cannot
Why can some sexless marriages be saved and why others cannot? What is the difference? Read this article to find out the key element that turns one sex problem into a disaster or a recipe for closeness and passionate sex.
When Sex Is Not the Issue in a Sexless Marriage
What happens when sex is not the issue in a sexless marriage and the lack of vulnerability kills any possibility of connection.
Bigger is better in sex? Not always ...
Popular advice for reigniting sexual intimacy tells us to up the ante on date nights and such. Yet when it comes to intimacy, smaller is better.
Communication in Sex
These signs may look so simple, which is why men miss these cues. But make no mistake here: they have a profound effect on women’s sexual desire.
13 Revelations About Men’s Sexual Desire That Will Make It Easier to Initiate Sex
Too often in the bedroom men and women misunderstand each other’s intentions and desires. Learn these 13 revelations about men’s sexual desire that will change they way you read men.
Talking About Sex Can Be Hard — but This Will Help
Talking about sex can be intimidating and scary — until you learn this. Check out the exact do’s and don’ts of talking about sex to make it more comfortable, easy and connecting.
Unmet Needs Lead to Resentment. This Can Help.
Sex can melt away stress in a relationship. When sex is connected, you can do anything together. But what if stress and resentment are stopping you from connecting intimately and having sex?
Who's Running the Show in Your Arguments?
When couples fight, it's rarely about the topic. And it's rarely a mere exchange of words. By understanding this one thing, you can learn to deepen your connect and feel closer in talking about sex.
Awakening the Female Libido
NEW: 15 Ways to Turn Yourself On and Get Ready for Sex
If you're struggling with getting in the mood for sex using the most commonly-prescribed sexual methods, discover 15 ways to turn yourself on that feel good and are easy to do in your busy day.
The Biggest Threat to a Woman’s Libido
It takes many things to build up women’s libido but it takes one swing of the wrecking ball to destroy it. Yet we do this every day.
Netflix Breaks Taboos on Female Pleasure — and Gets It Right
When Netflix released “Sex, Love & Goop,” I thought … there’s no way they’re going to hit the spot on the touchy subject of women’s pleasure. But after watching the show end to end, I can confidently say — they get it right.
The Many Faces of Low Libido in Women
Low libido affects as many as 50% of all women, yet having this label gets us even more stuck. In reality, there are 29 “faces” of low libido in women that point to the very things that we can change to find your way back to sexual desire. Read the article to identify yours.
A Letter to the “Sexually Broken” Woman
As many as 1 in 2 women in the US struggle with low libido. It’s time that we look at what is actually going on with these “sexually broken” women.
What's REALLY Causing Painful Sex for Women?
Painful sex is the norm for many women. But what is really causing this phenomenon?
3 Ways to Get in the Mood for Sex After a Busy Day Without Trying
Trying to get in the mood for sex at the end of a busy day can send a woman into a tailspin. Here is a mindset (plus three easy alternatives) that will help.
How to Regain Interest in Sex After Having a Baby
Why do so many mom’s feel broken sexually? Learn the truth about women’s sexual desire, the roles partners can play in recovering women’s libido, and tips to help get back to yourself and your sex life after becoming a mom.
5 Ways to Restore Her Excitement for Sex
Loss of women’s libido is almost a given when couples approach sex without forethought. Learn how couples can prevent this fate and restore her excitement for sex.
Three Reasons Women Stop Wanting Sex
If you as a woman do not experience spontaneous sexual desire, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. Learn about three things that keep women's libido low in a long-term relationship.
Discovering Your Body, Pleasure & Sexuality
The Thing That a Woman Needs for a Healthy Sex Life
There is one thing a woman needs to have a healthy sex life. And it’s not what you think. Read the article and get 5 ways to have it.
How I Finally Learned to Love My Body (and My Pussy Too)
It didn’t happen overnight. And it didn’t take mantras. (You might guess that having sex had something to do with it).
33 Ways to Self Pleasure for Better Sex
Feeling sexy is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs. But how do we get there, especially after a busy day? Explore these 33 ways to find your pleasure — and turn on that will fuel your day and fire up your night.
Energize Yourself, Reinvent Your Sex Life
When we’re running on empty, sexuality has little chance. Fill your cup, energize your life, and reinvent your sex life.
The Self-Care Practice Most Women Give Up On (Even If It Opens Them Up Sexually)
As women, we know this is one of the best ways to feel good in our bodies and turn ourselves on. It's time to reintroduce this practice to our day!
FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Know What You Want & Confidently Ask for It
The most frequent complaints I hear from women is they don’t know what they want in sex. This free 3-part training teaches you exactly how to find out what you want — and the path to getting it.
Try This Every Day to Boost Your Sexual Desire (and your partner will thank you!)
Ever hear "you can't pour from an empty cup"? When we run on empty, sex gets hard. There is another way!
How to Relax and Receive Sexual Pleasure
Learn this powerful practice to help connect to your body and receive pleasure — in sex and in life.
Painful Sex for Women
What's REALLY Causing Painful Sex for Women?
Painful sex is the norm for many women. But what is really causing this phenomenon?
Painful Sex Should Never Be the Norm for Women
Irene Fehr and Rachel Gelman, DPT, pelvic physical therapist, teamed up to talk about why painful sex should never be the norm for women and offer ways to work through the pain to create more pleasure for women.
Why Can Sex Feel Painful for Women?
Video 1: Most women experience painful sex and intercourse at some point. Get the info you need to shift into pleasure.
Video 2: How to tune into your body to shift into pleasure.
Sex and Dating
Dating Essentials: What It Takes to Create a Sexually Fulfilling Relationship from the Start
Even if you’re in the early stages of dating and getting to know each other, It’s never too early to begin to create a foundation for a sexually fulfilling relationship. Learn what it takes here.
Dating Essentials: Why Speaking Up About Your Sexual Needs Up Front Matters
It’s awkward to speak up too early about sex when dating … but it can also backfire, as you bond and connect with someone who might be on a different page with you. Learn why talking about sex early on really matters to having a sexually fulfilling relationship later on.
Everything Your Need to Know about Sex and Dating (to Get What You Want in Both)
If you're in the process of dating or starting a new relationship, you probably have a lot of questions about sex. Watch these videos to know what to do to get get what you want in sex and the new relationship.