Sex that feels amazing, because it works for your body

Feeling confident to ask for what you really want — and in a way that your partner wants to give it to you

Sharing your feelings, needs, desires, and truth freely and never feeling like you’re too much in a relationship again

Freely playing, connecting and acting without guilt, doubt, tension, and anxiety …

Meeting a caring and respectful partner who will want to explore, experience and share in the excitement of your sexual pleasure with you.

Enjoying every moment of your life …

This is the life I want for you. This is the life that you deserve. This is the life that is waiting for you …

Now I know that you’re probably here because sex has not been so easy for you. Maybe you’ve dreamt of sex as a beautiful, pleasurable experience and it has not been this way. Maybe sex has been an area of frustration and even pain.

What if your so-called “sexual problems” or inhibitions of the past were simply a way you're being called to unlock your deepest satisfaction and passion?

What if low libido and loss of that sexy feeling after you’ve taken care of everything and everyone is your soul's cry for more energy, aliveness and spaciousness in your life so you can feel more?

What if painful sex and discomfort are your body’s way of telling you that obligatory sex is no longer working for you and that you want a gentler, slower and more connected way to make love?

I get it. You’ve probably felt disappointed and sad that your body was not there for you when you wanted it. You are used to seeing yourself as broken and “less than” other women. And it's hard in this place to imagine that what you're experiencing is anything other than a problem to be fixed.

I get it, I have been there too.

Hello, I am Irene Fehr, sex & intimacy coach for single women and couples. And I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. And there is no better person to tell you this than me, because I’ve been in your shoes before.

Before I became a sex coach, I was in a sexless marriage, and I looked for a sex coach to help me fix my "sexual problems:" not being able to orgasm, painful sex, and a general lack of that sexual feeling.

My personal story is a common one. At age 25, I met the man who became my husband. It was love at first sight, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Once we settled into our relationship, I started noticing changes in our sex life.

Where sex used to be fun and exciting, it became repetitive and disconnected — and I became aware of that empty, eventually resentful, feeling when he orgasmed but I didn't. I yearned to ask for more, wished and prayed inside that he would touch me differently, but fear took over, and I stayed silent. 

My body started changing too. First, I lost my lubrication. The gynecologist suggested using lube, so we continued having sex, without my awareness that I wasn't turned on. Then intercourse turned painful. We barely talked about it, just in passing as I went in and out of doctors' appointments trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Eventually, I "lost my libido" and any desire to be touched or touch. And I couldn't get it back.

I blamed myself for not being feminine enough. I felt broken for not being orgasmic. And I felt numb — to sex but also to passion for my own life.

At 30 years of age, I wondered...

Is that it for me in terms of sex?
Why don't I want sex like other women?
Am I not meant to enjoy sex?

Eventually, my husband and I divorced. Without the emotional tools I have today — and without understanding how my participation in obligatory sex created the damaging intimacy-destroying patterns that we felt into — we couldn't find connection to stay together.

I was devastated and found myself sliding into depression for several years. I tried dating (I really wanted a relationship) and found myself either shutting down in anxiety or in tears when it came to anything sexual. I avoided any sexual touch or connection, even eye contact, as I feared that I'd initiate something sexual that I didn't want. To numb out the loneliness and pain, I focused on work and outside activities (and a lot of shopping!).

But I finally heard the wake up call. My loss of libido and sexual struggles set me on a path to discover what intimacy and sexuality really meant for me.

Knowing deep down that there has to be a better way of living, I walked into a sex coach's office to tell her that I wanted a different way to do sex — free of anxiety, shutdown and tears.  

Working with a sex coach was life-changing!

I saw my body shift and come alive.

Desire flowed — without the guilt or shame.

My body relaxed and got turned on — like a flower bud slowly opening up. I started to radiate sexual energy — and I learned how to ask for what I wanted and what I didn’t, making my sexual experiences pleasurable and free of shame.

And I became the intimacy warrior I am today — by voraciously studying and training to help other women like you to awaken their body and feed their heart with intimate lovemaking.

Sex Coaching for Women

If you're a single woman in your 30-50s and you: 

• Want to participate in the pleasure and aliveness of sex …

• Crave feeling that sexy feeling in your body and being excited for love-making …

• Yearn to feel close and be intimate with a partner and want to attract one who will meet and appreciate you sexually …

We will figure this out together!

I believe sexual challenges such as painful sex, lack of sexual desire, or unease about sex are about health and growth rather than pathology, an opportunity to step into the next stage of connection with ourselves and our partners, current or future, by getting the education you need — education about your body and what works for you.

Sex coaching combines the power of coaching and creating change with the deep understanding of sexual and sex dynamics. Read the What is sex coaching? FAQ.

Which is why I offer a “sexual growth program” to help you feel more at ease about sex and pleasure than you’ve ever thought possible. Stepping into intimate lovemaking requires you to dare intimacy — by learning to overcome the barriers to being authentically you.

We commit to working together for at least one year. My customized coaching packages require a year-long commitment and start at $16K; payment plans are available.

Every coaching journey is tailored to your needs and desires, and it generally covers these areas:

Access Your Desire

• Uncover what you deeply want for yourself: the touch, affection, and communication that turn you on

• Remove roadblocks of guilt, shame or self-doubt that stand in the way of you having what you want

• Connect to your body’s wisdom and sexual energy through somatic (body-based) practices

Are You a Woman in Relationship?

If you're a woman in relationship, couples work includes working on deepening connection and intimacy, so that you and your partner can feel closer to each other and explore sexual pleasure together. Even as I only work with coupled women as part of a couple, I offer a combination approach of individual and couples sessions.

Understand the ways a sex problem turns into these intimacy-destroying behaviors that threaten the very fabric of your love and use this tool to start the conversation with your partner.

What Clients Have to Say

I thought that sexuality goes downhill after menopause. And it's been the opposite for me in my experience. That was a wonderful, fun surprise!

I have realized some inner truths, like I am tired of trying to control everything, and the messy side of my personality is dying to come out!

I feel fully alive, vital and sexy. My relationship with my husband is hotter … sexier … exciting. 

Irene helped me find and connect, mind and body, to the woman I knew was inside.