Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Couples
Committing yourself fully to a loving romantic partnership can be one of life’s most beautiful and fulfilling experiences. When you cross the threshold into a committed relationship, you carry with you dreams – dreams of love and connection, passion and excitement, sex and intimacy that expand with you as your relationship grows.
Fulfilling sexuality is vital for a fulfilling life and relationship. Society wants us to believe that it should be natural. If you love each other … then sex should simply happen. We’re told that it should work out naturally, and sadly, it often doesn't.
No matter how much love you share or how attracted you are to each other, your sex life will change over time. When things don’t go as easily or as planned, when childbirth, aging or illness upset the dynamic, when differences in libido surface, you might find yourselves lost and confused. If you are unprepared, you might end up avoiding sex or each other — and your relationship is likely to become unsatisfying and even fail.
Discover why sex dies in a long-term relationship —
and how to create ever-growing passion and sex
in your relationship instead.
Sadly, the reality is that our culture has not set us up to create a great sex life over the course of a long-term relationship. And it sees “sexual problems” — such as a sexless marriage, mismatched libidos, or loss of libido or pain during intercourse for women — as personal failures.
The good news is that … after helping hundreds of couples around the world, and struggling with my own sexual desire in my marriage, I came to view sexual challenges as fertilizers for creating “amazing sex” — rather than impediments to such. And I’ve seen couple after couple create successful sex lives that grow better, hotter and more passionate with time when they learn to do the same.
The good news is that … when you understand that sex and sexual passion will naturally wax and wane over the span of your relationship and your body naturally changes over time, you can ride the waves of the storms — without taking things personally. You then get to create a foundation that will serve you for decades to come and create a powerful sexual connection that will last the span of your relationship.
The good news is that … as erotic beings, we have the opportunity keep evolving and growing and a sexless marriage or relationship is not a death sentence but a call to action to create something better.
As my work with hundreds of couples has proven, Connection Sex is the only sustainable path to long-term sexual passion and intimacy — and you have the power to create it in your relationship.
Are you ready to create Connection Sex in your life?
I will have spots available in my coaching practice starting November 2019. Get on the waiting list for a free 30-minute phone consultation to explore the sex life you desire.
About Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Couples
My approach to sex coaching combines the power of coaching and transformational change with the deep understanding of human sexuality and relational dynamics.
My goal is to help you build an extraordinary committed relationship filled with love and sex; not make your marriage a little bit less bad. Which is why I take my clients through a sexual growth program that involves becoming their best selves in relationship with another person. It is a process of expanding the ability to keep your heart and your sex open in connection with your partner in a way that brings more pleasure, eroticism and closeness — over the length of your relationship and lives.
I work with clients for a minimum of seven months and typically for a year — because, as in all areas of life, truly extraordinary results take time to produce. I do not work on a session-by-session basis as I do not see that as being in service of my client’s goals for an extraordinary sex life.
I work virtually over the online conferencing platforms of Zoom/FaceTime with clients all over the world. There is no touch or any sexual contact involved under any circumstances.
My work is heavily influenced by the evidence-based "attachment" approaches and tools by John & Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, based on 30 years of couples research at the Love Lab at the University of Washington, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) techniques pioneered by Sue Johnson.
I am a Somatic Experiencing practitioner in training and bring a wealth of experience to help rewire the body to deeper pleasure using Somatic Experiencing® techniques for nervous system relaxation and regulation.
Every coaching journey — whether with a couple or an individual client — is custom-tailored for your specific situation and is highly experiential and transformative. It also includes these areas of focus:
BUILD INTIMACY & CONNECTION
Create emotional connection, let your guard down with your partner, and open yourself to receiving. Build closeness and connection.
CULTIVATE DESIRE & PASSION
Sexual desire is a potent force for connection and intimacy.
Cultivate sexual desire and learn to express it in a way that has your partner want to give it to you.
EXPAND YOUR PLEASURE
Explore your pleasure anatomy, what turns you on and deepen how much pleasure you experience in your bodies and with each other.
EMBODY PASSION & INTIMACY
Experience more pleasure, presence and connection in sex, touch and play and feel closer in sex with each other.
Ready for your breakthrough?
I will have spots available in my coaching practice starting November 2019.
Get on the waiting list for a free 30-minute phone consultation and let’s explore coaching together.
We learned how to do long-term relationship with Irene …
We've both grown sooo much individually and as a couple … both much happier in our marriage. We were in a rough spot when we started ... tons of bickering … always feeling on edge like a fight was just around the corner, feeling drained by one another/our relationship and not on the same page as a couple. After coaching with Irene, we feel like a squeaky clean new couple. We're much more filled up individually, so we are filled up by our relationship, have sex much more frequently and more fulfilling sex, we have tools on how to do relationship so we rarely fight now. We ... both feel so much more freedom and joy from our relationship. We're also showing our son, and future children, what a healthy marriage looks and feels like. Irene ... lovingly guided us through some very tender times and got us to drop our swords and taught us to open our hearts to one another again. Her coaching is the perfect blend of tangible skills/communication, energy, holding a strong space and having fun. Do it — it takes work, courage, tears, healing and it is 1000% worth it because the love, freedom and joy on the other side is better than you can imagine.
We’ve brought life back into our relationship … and it feels like we’re now in a state of effortless love.
Working with Irene has been life-changing! We came to Irene when things felt really hard in our relationship, as lack of trust was making communication and connection challenging and also our sex life. We’ve brought life back into our relationship … and it feels like we’re now in a state of effortless love. We trust each other, we have more connection, and we’re able to flow between situations, not worrying that we’ll say the wrong thing to each other. We’ve come closer together — in our everyday communication, in our love, in how we no longer leave each other behind during arguments, disagreements or hurt feelings, and in sex as we learned to put our guard down and be with each other in a more connected way.
As a man, I feel stronger for having learned how to be vulnerable, and I know I am making our relationship stronger when I am able to be open and honest and not fear showing that side of myself to my wife. I am being more effective and stronger for her, and as a result, we’re able to face what comes up together. As a woman, I learned to be more at ease with myself, and to allow myself to trust and depend on my husband, in a way that my older self couldn’t because of the walls I had put up around myself.
Irene has developed an amazing set of tools, and she has an extraordinary ability of holding space so that each of us has the opportunity to truly be heard and understood and to say what we needed to say. That made our challenges more manageable and intimacy easier. Having done this work, thinking about the future that we want to create from here is easy, and we are confident that we can do it.
S & J • Married couple in their 30s • Colorado, USA
Our relationship is the best it’s been in recent years and that’s a lot due to our renewed intimacy.
Surely not unlike many other couples who have been together 10 plus years, sex was something we just did. We were, for many years, going through the same patterns that we always had and we felt “satisfied.” It wasn’t until we had an honest conversation of “Are you getting what you want out of this?” that we realised that neither of us were.
And as ridiculous as it was to engage a coach on the other side of the planet, it has been life changing. Our relationship is the best it’s been in recent years and that’s a lot due to our renewed intimacy.
We had no idea what we wanted or how to get there, but knew that “spicing it up” wasn’t the answer. We were looking to lay ground work so that our intimate relationship fed the rest of our relationship for the years to come … and great sex is obviously a key to that. Irene provided a supportive environment, helped us grow both as a couple and individually so that we could bring the best of ourselves to the bedroom. We learnt that just “satisfied” isn’t what we want our intimate relationship and sex life to be … we wanted it to be amazing and we, with help from Irene, are well on the way to achieving that.
Tom and Lacey • Married Couple • Brisbane, Australia